Conflict management is a set of tools that we need to start mastering right now, because avoiding confrontations is impossible (and unhealthy). No more fears
During our personal, academic, and professional life, it will be inevitable for us to have disagreements and tensions with other people. Whether it's with another student who has a different vision for a project, with a teacher whose methodology we don't like, with a coworker, or with a boss, conflicts are more common than we would like. In fact, what we would really like is to have none, but "friction causes conflict" (or that's how the saying should go) and it's not possible - nor healthy - to try to avoid them at all costs. There's something we need to understand: conflict itself is not bad. It helps us, among other things, improve communication with others, explore other points of view, improve our soft skills, or get to know ourselves better. But, of course, always managing it well. Otherwise, a conflict can be highly destructive. And what can we do to bring out the good side of (inevitable) conflicts? Well, learn conflict management techniques and practice them regularly.
Think before reacting
How easy it is to say and how difficult it is to do, right? When something affects us, the emotional reaction is very powerful and hard to control, but welcome to adulthood! Just as we learned not to throw ourselves on the floor kicking and screaming every time our parents said no to something, we have to learn to control our emotions when something affects us, so that we can take our emotions home, have a meeting with them, analyze them calmly, and choose the measures we want to take. Why do we feel what we feel? Are we really disagreeing with the proposed idea or is it more of a personal matter? Is it possible that the other person's point of view is also correct? Where can I compromise and where can't I? By understanding our own emotions, we can act more constructively.
Active listening
One of the most powerful tools in conflict management is active listening. This means not only hearing what the other person says or what we want to hear, but truly paying attention and trying to understand their point of view with an open mind. It's not just about paying attention, but it requires us to put into practice a series of actions (described
here) aimed at achieving effective communication. Active listening is a way to show respect for our interlocutor and their ideas, and it can open the door to mutually beneficial solutions.
Assertive expression
Once we have understood our point of view and the other person's, it's time to express ourselves. It is essential to do so in an
assertive manner, communicating our ideas and feelings without attacking or belittling the other person. Assertiveness is an extremely important skill that will help us in every aspect of our lives. If we haven't worked on it yet, it's time to start, and if it can be before getting the
eTítulo and entering the job market, even better.
Search for collaborative solutions
The true art of conflict management lies in finding a solution that benefits both parties (a "win-win" as they call it). This may require a bit of creativity and commitment, but in the end, a collaborative solution will strengthen the relationship and prevent future tensions. It's natural that we want to impose our judgment or think that our point of view is the best, but that will only lead to despotism and entrenched conflicts with those around us. We must learn that there are things in life where it's more beneficial to give in a little than to be right.
If necessary, seek mediators
Sometimes, a conflict can become too complicated or emotional to handle alone. In these cases, it can be useful to have a mediator, whether it's a school counselor, a trusted teacher, or a colleague, who can help both parties communicate and find a solution. Let's not forget that things are always clearer from the outside.
Post-conflict reflection
After the conflict has been resolved, it's valuable to take a moment to reflect on what happened. What did we learn? How can we avoid similar situations in the future or how should we approach the ones that come? What tools have worked best for us? Where do we need to improve? These and other reflections will help us grow and improve our conflict management skills. In conclusion, conflict management is about understanding, communicating, and collaborating to find solutions that benefit everyone. By cultivating these skills, we will not only improve our relationships in the academic field, but also in all areas of our lives.
