If we have failed a subject and we are afraid to tell our parents, here are 3 tricks that will be useful to us. Adults, minors in independence
When we start a career, we have long since left childhood behind and, in fact, it is normal for us to have reached the age of majority or be about to do so. Failing a subject is no longer the same because we are adults. However, it is normal for us to have to explain our failures to our parents, even if we can make decisions about certain things, vote, buy alcohol, or drive a car. If they pay, they have the right to have an opinion and be informed; that is how it is even if it annoys us. However, studying at university is not like compulsory education or high school; it is understood that we do it because we want to, out of vocation, or because we aspire to obtain our
eTitle and thus have a good profession. It is our own maturity that makes us university students and not an external obligation (or at least it should be), and therefore, the level of demand from our parents is likely to be lower than when we were in compulsory education. When we have failed a subject, we immediately feel bad, but even the brightest people make mistakes in exams.
Errare humanum est; these things happen and we should not punish ourselves excessively, but analyze what our mistakes have been and try again with renewed spirits. The question is, when it comes to communicating failures to parents, some people find it easier than others.
Prepare for battle
Before entering the family
ring, we must be mentally prepared for what may happen, and therefore, it is advisable to plan our strategy. It is important that we are well aware and that we do not go to talk to our parents with a loaded gun, but with a mature attitude in which we recognize our mistakes, without allowing them to crush us. Ideally, we should review our assertiveness techniques and negotiation skills in case something happens.
1. No excuses
If we are able to assume our mistakes in front of our parents, it is likely that they will not get too angry. It is very difficult to attack someone who is not defending themselves. The matter is simple: we have failed. It may be because COVID attacked us at the worst moment, because love does not let us concentrate, because a meteor threatens the earth, or whatever, but what is clear is that it is not our parents who have come home with a failing grade, but us. We have to face it. For the conversation to flow properly, the most sensible thing is not to start looking for excuses, but to face what has happened with sincerity and accepting our mistakes. If our parents see that we start making excuses, they will get angry (and they will have reasons to do so). On the other hand, a mature attitude of recognizing the problems will probably make them hold back before attacking us.
2. We have a plan
If we want our parents to react well to a failure, it is better to tell them accompanied by a well-developed plan so that it does not happen again. It is not the same to arrive and say "I have failed 5 subjects; see you at dinner" as saying: "We need to talk: I have failed 5 subjects and I feel terrible. I have thought about the things I could do better to recover the subjects and I think it would be good for me to study a couple of hours every day. In fact, I have thought about improving my room to avoid distractions and be more comfortable. Also, I have talked to a classmate who is very good at this subject to lend me their notes and explain the things I don't understand. I know I should have made more effort, it is clear that I have underestimated the difficulty of the degree, but I am going to make an effort to improve".
3. Let them get involved
If we really want to disarm the opponent (who, in case there is any doubt, is our parents), what we have to do is ask for their help. We can ask them to help us study, to subsidize private lessons, to keep our phone while we study to avoid distractions (blocked, of course), to wake us up every day at a certain time to study... Since our parents love us and are parents, it will be very difficult for them to say no to a request for help from their child, and we, as vile strategic worms, can take advantage of their weakness (or love) to reduce their anger over our failures and also to obtain the necessary help to pass. However, at least it should be true that we are going to make an effort and that the results are seen in the retakes; otherwise, these stratagems will not work forever. Good luck!
